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Mother’s Day Giveaway

Can’t imagine life without her. Yes

Has loved you even when you grew up and left to explore the world. Yes

Has always been the pillar of support for everyone in the family. Yes

She deserves the best? Right.

Get her the gift of purest love — a diamond. But a diamond that doesn’t require digging up Mother Earth or pumping her with carbon emissions or violates human rights.

Buy #GrownDiamonds  —  the better way to show your love!

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Use Promo Code: MOTHER2015

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Working moms are awesome! And I’m not the one who is saying this

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How are they going to fit everything into 24 hours a day? How will they stay sane? And, most importantly, how will their decision to work affect their children? Mommy blogger Olga lists her reasons why she absolutely loves being a working mom and how it has helped her and her family.

She has some fantastic points and I believe most working moms (and readers of this blog) would nod in agreement.

1. Do what you love. My brother and I are always joking how our parents spoiled us work-wise. Both my father and my mom love their jobs and since this is all that we know, we won’t settle for anything less. I believe that everyone should have something that they love doing. This can be a job, a hobby, a passion, a dream– anything really, and it doesn’t have to be big, either. Because if we have at least one thing we love doing, our lives will be a little bit brighter.

2. Work hard. My mom was not only brilliant at her job, she also worked extremely hard at it, and made sure that everything she did was done well. And she was right, because hard work pays off for everyone. Maybe we want to be good at what we’re doing, or we work hard to support our family. But whatever it is we want to do, we should put lots of thought and effort into it.

3. Take care of your needs. My mom needed a lot of alone time and since I’ve had children, I do, too. It’s one of the reasons I send my children to daycare even though I don’t work. I don’t function very well without down time, and I can fully understand every mother who feels the same way. After all, every parent needs some time to switch off, regroup, and actually finish that cup of coffee. Our needs are just as important as the needs of our children, they’re just easier to ignore.

4. Never judge other mothers. My mother has always been the type who did her own thing and never cared what others thought of her. She just wanted to do her job, and to do it well. But she never judged other mothers whether they decided to stay at home or work. Her point is that everyone just does their best according to their circumstances, personal traits and possibilities, and that judgment never makes sense. I believe it’s a good philosophy to live by.

5. Be a role model for your children. A friend once told me one of the reasons she works is because she has daughters. It’s very important to show girls- and boys- that mothers can work, even if the whole world may tell them that they shouldn’t. I am a SAHM but I sometimes talk about gender roles with my children. Thanks to my mom, I can tell them: “Of course women can work; after all, your grandmother does too!” My mother has always stressed the importance that being independent has for women and I fully agree.

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This line of Olga’s blog: “If you are a working mother, please remember that not only will your children take no harm from you having a job, but will very likely to be grateful to have such a hardworking, inspiring mother,” should soothe all working mother’s. It definitely made me feel prouder of myself and my capabilities.

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All in favor, say Neomamma

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Scary Mommy is one of the parenting blogs I religiously follow. Reason being, the experiences and thoughts are almost a mirror to  mine.

In her latest post, Melissa Sher questions the Editors of the Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary about their lack of acknowledgement on the new age mommy. While the dictionary has revised itself to include 150 new words, Sher feels they have wronged us mommies by not including on one of the biggest mutations of grammar & society – Neomamma.

A “neomama” is my word for a new mom. It’s a word to describe being a first-time, clueless new parent who doesn’t know what she’s doing and doesn’t yet have maternal instinct (but thinks she’s supposed to). She is scared of making a mistake. She is terrified of it. And she is tired. She is horribly, disgustingly, jaw-droppingly tired. This woman… This state of parenting… Well, there is no word for it. That’s why I’m making it up. And I’d really love it if you could add it to your big book.

Think about it. New age mommies are distinctly different than older generation mom’s. Compare yourself with your older aunties, mums or grandmothers. We are a breed of mothers who take parenting very seriously and more importantly are not scared about admitting our mistakes and writing about our mishaps for everyone else’s benefits (from Twitter to Facebook to blogs).

Experiences like this happen to us, neomamma’s.

If you need more evidence, I would like to tell you a little bit about the first morning I spent at home alone with my first baby. He was probably about six days old. My parents were gone. My in-laws were gone. My husband was gone. There was no one around to ask about potentially infected umbilical cords, weird-looking poops or strange soft spots. The big event on my first real day on the job was what should have been a nice, relaxing walk around the block. I had bought a sling that came with its own instructional DVD. But not long after I left the apartment, I decided that the fabric from the sling was smothering my son’s face and that he probably couldn’t breathe. So I took him out and just started carrying him in my arms. Of course, a woman walking down the street holding a newborn, wearing an empty sling is going to attract attention. An older lady stopped me. “Oh. How adorable! What’s his name?”

“What’s his name?”

His name.

What was his name?

I blanked.

Now in my defense, the kid and I had only met earlier that week. My husband and I had just named him. The name was still so new! After a couple of seconds – one second, two seconds – the name came to me. But do you know what a “neomama” I felt like?

I hear you, mamma. So Merriam Webster, please listen up.

 

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Everyday is Mother’s Days

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Another Mother’s Day is round the corner and buckets full of marketing fluff is being advocated by retailers, urging us all to “celebrate your mother.” I am sure many many many of us will actually use this ‘one day’ and paint the town red with their mom’s. And really there’s nothing wrong in celebrating good times with people whom you love and who love you back.

What is wrong is commoditising mother’s love and restricting it celebrating it on just ONE day. Don’t insult the woman – who took stitches (in case you were a C-section child) & intense physical trauma to bring you in this world; for years went on with back breaking menial household tasks for which no one appreciated her; or perhaps doubled her workload by getting a job making sure that money was never a limiting factor while you grew up – by taking her out for a dinner or buying a diamond brooch on Mother’s Day. She deserves your time, attention and efforts every day as you live the life she gave you.

Talking about me, I’m now a 16-month old mom and some day my son will be in that ‘Happy Mother’s day’ card-making phase and possibly even whip up some hand made gift for me (goaded by his school or friends). But the lesson that I want him to remember is that I’ll rather take his “please” and “thank you” for all the chores I do in my household, behave & respect his parents every day over a random day of breakfast in bed.

I have never celebrated Mother’s Day by getting gifts for my mom. But I have been with my mom (and dad) when they needed me. I talk to them almost once in 24 hours and whatever geography or time zone we are, it is no deterrent. They know they can call me and I will be besides them, in emergency. Mom knows how I value her advice and how I love going shopping with my parents. Gifts, we buy for each other through the year, but seldom because it’s a Mother’s/Father’s/Daughter’s day, instead always because we like to see good things adorning loved ones.

This Mother’s Day, as I stare at an entire letterbox jammed with catalogues covered in slogans like ‘Make Mum Smile’ and battle to delete never-ending ‘special discounts for you & Mum’ emails, I hope that my son grows up and see’s through this gobbledygook built by brands and celebrate his parents & relationships every day.

 

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Do yourself a favor & make everyone watch this

I usually have no big plans on all these “so-called” relationship celebrating days nor do I indulge in mushy gift exchanging stuff and rarely do I ever mention it on my social pages, but this video was made to be shared. And then to do some wishful thinking. And then to go and tell “that” person what they mean to you.

Do yourself a favour and watch it and share it and then go and hug “that” person a million times.

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‘Will never ever regret being a mommy’

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MommyBegins has a new blogger mommy in the house. Say Hello to Mansi Taneja. A fellow first-time mommy to a handsome honeybun and a regular reader of this blog. Show her some extra love and leave plenty of feedback so that we can get her back or perhaps as a regular contributor.  

As a journalist in most of my stories I find that the ongoing “economic slowdown” inadvertently finds a way to get a mention. Ironically, as far as the story of my own life goes that much needed slowdown has eluded me. Motherhood it seems keeps has kept all such things at bay.

When I was told by the doctor that I had been blessed with a baby boy almost 18 months back, I was a little disappointed as we had a strong intuition of having a baby girl, for who even the names were shortlisted. But, life had its own plans. Few hours later when the nurse came to me with the baby – the first time I saw him actually – in that moment my life changed forever. Ever since, he has become my priority, my love, my friend and my baby.

It has been a roller coaster ride. While I would not have left my job anyway, it became even more necessary because of various financial liabilities. I wanted my independence – of spending money where I want, of driving the second car without thinking of budget, to give all comforts to the little new entrant in the family and above all for my own self.

With in-laws settled in Kerala, my own mother took it upon herself to manage her first grandchild while I was away at work. So, we have to shuttle between houses every 2-3 weeks so that no home gets neglected, one in Delhi and another one near the border of Delhi. Husbands are taken care of – mine and my mom’s of course. Packing and unpacking has been my routine every third weekend now for more than a year since I came back to office and there is no alternative. Not to mention cooking and doing other small chores before starting off for work every day. None of this has made me any slimmer or even left anytime to focus on my health, habits.

At times, guilt pangs do come and knock my door but somehow I have been able to leave it aside for the good, I guess. It’s been a year of no personal stuff as well. No reading, no writing, no late night parties, no weekend trips planned randomly. Dressing sense has become weird, mirror seems to be an enemy, TV does not exist, proper breakfast and dinner never happens and sleep has become the biggest luxury I cannot afford. With all this going on you are not allowed to fall sick or even feel tired.

But, not even for a minute I have regretted being a mommy. It’s the best thing that can ever happen, it’s a bliss though exhaustion and forgetting what is normal, comes bundled with it. Right from the time he held my finger, took his first step to his first word, the journey has been amazing to say the least. There could be nothing more relaxing than seeing your child play and run around your home.

And the journey has also become a learning one for me as I have understood what patience is, though am yet to perfect it, and how I should get up, every time I fall down and move ahead, be curious about new things and love unconditionally. My son does not know yet what a mother is. But, I definitely know what motherhood is, it’s all about selfless love and the bond.