…I am going to be travelling for a couple of nights without my toddler. In other words, I am finally getting my TRUE time out (first ever in more than 20 months) but I am not exactly jumping in joy. So weird this motherhood is!
When I went back to work, early this year, I was fully aware that it would eventually take me away from home, for those extra important meetings. So, here I am. And even though my husband and paternal grandparents will be more than enough number of guardians for a single toddler for a couple of nights, it is me that needs some pampering & coaxing. I need someone to tell me that I will be fine.
I like travelling, and have always appreciated the few hours that I get while traveling all by myself. But this time, this business trip away from my child is guilt-ridden — with me fretting about leaving my lil bun, worrying some more about how my absence may (or may not) negatively impact my family.
You may roll your eyes at this point since I am totally overthinking this situation. I have even thought of extreme cases that could happen in my absence and had some really bad nightmares about the same.
I then went on and read a zillion blogs, news articles and reports about traveling moms. All of these tell me that I need to give up some of the motherly control and accept that that my boi will be just fine. “Whatever you do, try to keep the guilt in check and remember the reasons that you are working in the first place. Is it to better the lives of your children by being able to provide for them? Whatever your reasons, keep them in the front of your mind when the mommy-guilt rears her ugly head,” tells me one parenting website.
Yet, it is very very very difficult to turn off the ever-present maternal instinct and hand over the responsibility I feel towards my boi to another caregiver while away – be it the nanny, Grandma or even my husband. My logic says that only I know the best when it comes to my boi.