Terrible Toddler-hood


Just as I thought of patting my back for having made it through the sleepless nights of infancy, all those milestones of crawling and first steps with even a nap schedule in place, this toddler stage has come to bit me in my a**!

And this irrational creature living (or a toddler) in your house has the power to make you laugh & cry in an instant. They can destroy your weekends or simply make them memorable. They shove one tiny toe in your mouth, while asleep, & kick the other in your intestines. They own your iPhone, iPad or laptop just as they own your TV remote. There’s no grey — only white or black. Get it?

In my house, this soon-to-be 17-month old toddler has ultimate powers. He can swing elderly grandparents, not-so-energetic dad and always-on-her-toes mom off-track with a single whine, syllable or a head shake. Some basic samples of how my life, at present, looks, feels & smells like as mommy to a toddler.

  1. My little man has become very inquisitive as he quickly learns how gadgets around him are operated by adults. So, his favourite thing nowadays is putting his fingers on every button that he sees. He can now switch on the washing machine (has already run it twice, empty!), can capably use the Home button on iPad to exit out of boring rhymes, use the button on the remote to switch channels (accidentally mostly) and can even click “selfies” on my phone as camera function is just a button away.
  2. The living room floor, which at most hours bears remnants of a toy explosion, orchestrated by my toddler is my next battleground. Knowing that one can hide the evidence beneath the sofa, under the TV or dining table, my toddler works hard to ensure his toys, blocks and playballs are never easily retrievable. This should also explain my backaches.
  3.  I can’t name the recent song on any music charts because of the silly nursery rhyme tunes that are constantly looping in my head.
  4. This scene happens every night. I’m headed toward the kitchen/bathroom and step on something that either starts playing music, lights up or says It’s ABC time. Pick and put it back in its place fully aware I will be tripping on it again in morning.
  5. His perseverance, trying things over and over again, and sheer determination to master new skills is simply a pleasure to watch. But not when it is your costly makeup (fancy wrinkle cream) bottle cap or that super expensive shoe kept stashed away in a cloth bag. I almost had a heart attack when I saw my Dior perfume cap in his hands and the bottle rolling under the bed. *shudders*
  6. It is becoming impossible to talk to anyone on phone when my toddler is in front of me. It’s either I put the phone on speaker mode or put the phone on to his ears (which he will promptly want to hold in his hands instead), stare & smile while caller & me try desperately to get one word out of him.
  7. Noisy toys are my greatest friends. Why? Put a load of noisy, beeping, musical toys in-front of your toddler and these will amuse him for several minutes. You might even get a chance to brush your teeth, de-tangle your hair, even get to drink that elusive mug of coffee while it’s still hot. By the way, you need to see your toddler get down and boogie to the sound of these noisy toys. Try it, you’ll be peeing yourself by the end and feel ten times better about toddler-hood.

Do you have some tips or tricks to taming the wild bear? Please share.


3 thoughts on “Terrible Toddler-hood

  1. My 15 month old loves to dig into things and climb onto stuff. She’s always into something. If I didn’t have a gate in the doorway of my kitchen, she would be digging in there. We call her our little monkey.

  2. OMG I can so relate to this, I am swaying helter skelter the whole day trying to figure out what she is upto. But even after a hard day at work it is so relaxing to listen to her endless babbles and questions as she too is so inquisitive. There is nothing like watching her grow :).

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