My hubby hates shopping with all his heart. Before we married, I used to frequent malls with my dad and mom (sometimes friends too) for relaxation. Though we never over-spent but loved the window-shopping that was much more relaxing than real shopping. We just enjoyed being together as a family and eating our lunch in mall restaurants or food stalls as we meandered around. Hubby couldn’t understand my thought process in the least.
But my first few shopping trips after marriage were disastrous– as he hated the endless rounds to shops and me trying to understand the latest collections. After 2.5 years of being married something changed in him. He knew that “mall crawling” was an enjoyable pastime for me, so he began to check with me whether I wanted to go to the mall to look around. Now that was sweet, as given a choice hubby would rather sleep in than spend half a day trudging behind me and helping me choose outfits. Just recently, he even topped off our “mall time” with a visit to my favourite ice cream store. Perfect.
When we’re romancing our better halves, we have to do what they think is fun and what they think is romantic. That shows we know them and care for them. A woman going through marriage without romance feels like a man who goes through life without sex. Much of the color of life disappears, and everything turns gray. (literally)
Now, if I was to romance my hubby, visiting a mall wouldn’t cut the deal sweet for him but sitting down on evenings on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and tuning in to CNBC and listen to market analysts would be his thing. It’s restful and it’s romantic. You’re sharing the moment, sharing laughter, and sharing conversation. You’re relating to each other, and that builds intimacy. This is evolution in romance after marriage.
It’s also romantic when you do things for her/him that they hate. Speaking for myself, I hate scrubbing dirty dishes on days when maid goes off. Hubby knows this and has started to step in to wash vessels or when there’s no time to wash the sink full of dishes, he promptly dials the nearby meal delivery service. Why is doing a little act for your wife that she herself hates considered romantic? Because it proves to her that you know her likes and dislikes and will do chores that will put a smile to her face. Or at least I have convinced myself that it does.
Sometimes I don’t want to do the mundane things like grocery shopping alone. It’s not one of hubby’s favorite things either. But he goes with me if I ask, and he makes it fun just because we’re together. Sometimes I hate sitting home on weekends, but hubby wants nothing more than sleeping and lazing around. So, I comply. believe me its better than tagging a grumpy husband to a party or a restaurant.
Do you sense the romance here? We do.