It means a lot to have a sympathetic ear


A woman finds great peace when she finds some one who understands her — I read this somewhere. But it is SO true.

Yes, women are inherently complex creatures – or perhaps 97% of the female species are born — with a certain “super complex link” in their DNAs. And this character simply grows tentacles with each passing year. Yet, the solution is very simple: a sympathetic ear and a box of tissues is just the answer.

As you would have figured out that I am speaking from experience. When I was young, I had a Panda soft toy who was my companion. When mom wielded a hard hand or when teacher was obnoxious about the quality of my school work or class monitor was extra harsh on the talkative me, panda was my sympathetic ear. He heard everything and offered nothing. But it was therapeutic. The tear-stained Panda was soon thrown out for a living being, my best friend (from Std: VI C).

This new confidante was slightly better than Panda, as she could offer comfort through her own stories about a bossy elder sister or a cruel Maths teacher who loved to throw surprise tests. I could tell her what my classmates thought of my report card without trying to censor my words, and she in turn made me paper cards with flowers and little huts with doodles. Those were good times; innocent enough to be consoled by cards made out of torn notebook paper.

By tenth standard, confidante’s were exchanged for guides and tuition notes. There was no time to dwell upon life, stupid boys or parents. Marks and board exams were embedded into my grey cells and I had to score a rank somehow. Finally having secured a seat in a college in Pune, I was again free to look for a friend who could read what’s on the mind and with whom I could speak in silence.I found the nicest friend (soul sister) in another hostel mate. We could read each others body language, facial expressions and know when was the other one sad or happy or eager to share a secret. Undoubtedly, a lot of secrets involved boys, not-so-friendly-gossips about other hostel mates, career and of course, what to wear to college. We were inseparable and secrets shared are still between two of us.

Moving away from hostel, I launched myself headlong into work. I knew what I was getting into as I walked into the office of a local newspaper in Pune for my internship. Right away, I loved being a part of the media industry. There was no looking back and I went from internship to job and again discovered my sympathetic ear was a very nice girl at work. Soon the group widened to include another girl and we were soon discussing marriage (impending), prospective grooms, arranged marriages of other acquaintances, mother-in laws and our ideas about what a married home should be like.

Believe me, all these years as long as I had someone close to talk about my moods and thoughts it was good. I knew it was these friends who had kept me un-coagulated. Today, things are different.

After 2 years of marriage and living in Mumbai, I am still struggling to find that sympathetic ear. While I am still surrounded by great colleagues, none of them seem to any clue (or inclination) of what it is to be some one’s unconditional sounding board. I had secret hopes that my husband would become my mind reader, but that seems to be a project in making. While I still have great friends who are phone call away but its not the same as having my own Panda, my own Std V C mate, my soul sister, or my patient & comforting friend duo at work. We, bulk of the women, need to have (or MUST have) that one person who can keep us free of convoluted thoughts and zap away those fears, jitters.

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10 thoughts on “It means a lot to have a sympathetic ear

  1. Hey Priyanka, First timer on your blog, I liked it!!

    Though it is true that every girl likes to have a confidante in a friend or a Panda as in your case but the same hold true for all guys too. We as much need a friend(preferable living:) who understand what we go through on a mundane basis or even when we have to make life altering decisions. The reason I say this, your husband might be looking for a confidante in you, may be he is too afraid to voice it or believes 'thats a project in making'. So you have your confidante with you, open your eyes and see for yourself that he may understand your unsaid feelings and emotions..

  2. loved the heading.. simple thoughts but real ones.. really we so mcuh need someone jst to hear you out..
    ever changing life n their demands make us far from our frnds…
    and not everytime we can find new frnds who become spcl to us…
    i wish to jst hold them on tightly in my life..

    nice post.. love..!!
    @prianca1 🙂

  3. its is so true..you got to have that somebody with whom u can bitch about anything & everything….but just a word of advice..dont have high hopes on your husband becoming ur mind reader..guys usually understand only what is told to them in clear and simple words…at least that's how most guys are designed…these kind of high expectations don't lead anywhere..and find that close someone to whom u can rant about anything..great blog!!!

    Love
    http://weddingonthecards.blogspot.com/

  4. i miss having my friends too!! here in mumbai.. i'm from b'lore.. and life has been very different here.. on my own.. I think it has been aaages since I have had that one person, who i can tell evrything too.. trust more than my life.. and fall back upon when i have nowhere else to go.. the boyfriend is been a constant.. but its not the same as having a friend..

    just felt like i could relate to ur post so completely.. that went on rambling.. 🙂 i'm here waise.. to be a listening panda.. if u need me! 🙂

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