A woman finds great peace when she finds some one who understands her — I read this somewhere. But it is SO true.
Yes, women are inherently complex creatures – or perhaps 97% of the female species are born — with a certain “super complex link” in their DNAs. And this character simply grows tentacles with each passing year. Yet, the solution is very simple: a sympathetic ear and a box of tissues is just the answer.
As you would have figured out that I am speaking from experience. When I was young, I had a Panda soft toy who was my companion. When mom wielded a hard hand or when teacher was obnoxious about the quality of my school work or class monitor was extra harsh on the talkative me, panda was my sympathetic ear. He heard everything and offered nothing. But it was therapeutic. The tear-stained Panda was soon thrown out for a living being, my best friend (from Std: VI C).
This new confidante was slightly better than Panda, as she could offer comfort through her own stories about a bossy elder sister or a cruel Maths teacher who loved to throw surprise tests. I could tell her what my classmates thought of my report card without trying to censor my words, and she in turn made me paper cards with flowers and little huts with doodles. Those were good times; innocent enough to be consoled by cards made out of torn notebook paper.
By tenth standard, confidante’s were exchanged for guides and tuition notes. There was no time to dwell upon life, stupid boys or parents. Marks and board exams were embedded into my grey cells and I had to score a rank somehow. Finally having secured a seat in a college in Pune, I was again free to look for a friend who could read what’s on the mind and with whom I could speak in silence.I found the nicest friend (soul sister) in another hostel mate. We could read each others body language, facial expressions and know when was the other one sad or happy or eager to share a secret. Undoubtedly, a lot of secrets involved boys, not-so-friendly-gossips about other hostel mates, career and of course, what to wear to college. We were inseparable and secrets shared are still between two of us.
Moving away from hostel, I launched myself headlong into work. I knew what I was getting into as I walked into the office of a local newspaper in Pune for my internship. Right away, I loved being a part of the media industry. There was no looking back and I went from internship to job and again discovered my sympathetic ear was a very nice girl at work. Soon the group widened to include another girl and we were soon discussing marriage (impending), prospective grooms, arranged marriages of other acquaintances, mother-in laws and our ideas about what a married home should be like.
Believe me, all these years as long as I had someone close to talk about my moods and thoughts it was good. I knew it was these friends who had kept me un-coagulated. Today, things are different.
After 2 years of marriage and living in Mumbai, I am still struggling to find that sympathetic ear. While I am still surrounded by great colleagues, none of them seem to any clue (or inclination) of what it is to be some one’s unconditional sounding board. I had secret hopes that my husband would become my mind reader, but that seems to be a project in making. While I still have great friends who are phone call away but its not the same as having my own Panda, my own Std V C mate, my soul sister, or my patient & comforting friend duo at work. We, bulk of the women, need to have (or MUST have) that one person who can keep us free of convoluted thoughts and zap away those fears, jitters.