How often do you hear yourself saying this to your husband or even a boy friend, “You make me feel . . .” and the end of the sentence depends on the feeling of the day, the hour, or the minute!
You make me feel like a million dollars.
You make me feel worthless.
You make me feel beautiful and sexy. (Though this one happens rarely)
You make me so angry! … So happy! … So sad! … So mad! … So bad! …So glad!
You make me feel like I don’t do anything all day long.
I think of myself as an intuitive person who’s perceptions->emotion->thought process is very quick and hard to pin down. It’s very alien for me to actually think purposely about things. Whereas my husband is a slow processor, thinking things through methodically over a long period of time. Needless to say that can create some difficulties.
But I am learning the hard way. I realise that I need to separate my feelings from my husband. Instead of saying, “You make me feel…” I say, “I feel…” I have come to believe that it is okay to feel lonely, afraid, or hurt, but you have to own those feelings as your own without blaming them on others.
We Indians are emotional fools and that’s perhaps why we need to strike that invisible balance enough togetherness to survive and enough separateness to thrive.