“He doesn’t get you roses…Oh ma God…Honey, is everything okay?” cooed one of my friends, on discovering that my husband does nothing which can be even remotely labeled as romantic.
To be fair, she was one of those varieties whose boyfriends had wooed her with flowers and chocolates and now husband dear was kept busy trying to find innovative ways to surprise and delight her. I won’t really blame her for thinking that I had prematurely turned into a old hag after marriage. This babe, having spent an exhilarating week shopping at the Dubai Shopping festival, was back in India only to plan out her summer getaway with her pilot hubby, who was flying to destinations across Europe on work.
I made the mistake of wondering aloud, “Really, why would he get me roses…we don’t even have an appropriate vase or a table to keep it back home.” See, in when you are living in a rented flat in Mumbai, there’s little that you feel like to buy for the house as your lease will soon expire and the landlord in all probability will throw you out with your furniture and vases too.
This really got my friend going. “Oh no…You have become such a hard cookie, hon! What’s wrong with you?” She asked, looking absolutely aghast. She went on to pity me so much that I started to worry, if I had really missed out on something in my year-old marriage.
But really, on hind sight, why will I want my husband to bring me long stemmed roses or chocolates? I am always on a superficial diet, so I will feign my disinterest towards calorified-chocs and roses…well, to be honest, they will look nice in the house but I really am not a person who appreciates such subtleties. So, why is my husband wrong?
According to my globetrotter friend, he’s doing NOTHING to make me happy and multiply any romance in our relationship. The latter part was spat out practically in disgust, as she realized how naive I have been to secrets of marriage-hood.
For records, I am not deriding romance. I am not saying that people should not do little things for each other like fluffing a pillow, perhaps. I am merely saying that me and my i-banker hubby are not doing ‘nice things’ for each other and yet we are happy. Well, most of the times.
I had to beg him to get me flowers and practically directed him to get me my a birthday gift, quite aware of the fact that he did it because he wanted to avoid a scene. On his birthday, I wanted to throw a party but he insisted that a take-out tandoori chicken would suffice instead.
On our first holi, the most romanticised hindu festival, we both slept peacefully completely enjoying the mid-week holiday. On our first anniversary, we managed to go to a nice secluded beach & topped the vacation with a cosy cottage, but that too was accomplished since we managed to hire the cottage at Rs 700 per head (all meals included) and according to the i-banker husband, “It was a great value-for-money deal.”
So, sorry if I am not rooting for a romantic life but I do believe marriage is about realising and being happy with the real & everyday side of your partner and not change him/her to suit your lifestyle.